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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Viewers
Obligation
Challenge
Fans
Challenges
More quotes by Dana Gould
Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
Dana Gould
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
Dana Gould
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Dana Gould
Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
Dana Gould
Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
Dana Gould
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Dana Gould
My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
Dana Gould
Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
Dana Gould
I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
Dana Gould
I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
Dana Gould
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana Gould
Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
Dana Gould
When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Dana Gould
Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
Dana Gould
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
Dana Gould
Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
Dana Gould
There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
Dana Gould
I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould