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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Write
True
Better
Writing
Essentially
Really
Script
Make
Jokes
Works
Times

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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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