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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Exes
Neurotic
Girlfriend
Disappointment
Called
Bigs
Another
Lumped
Girlfriends

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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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