Quote

What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Exactly
Devil
Leotards
Hell
Pitchfork
Went
Pitchforks
Fire
Cave
Thought
Caves
Really
Idiot
Would
Red

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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