Quote

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Names
War
World
Rejected
Super
Global
Moon

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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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