Quote

There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Light
Clothing
Live
Lights
Nothing
Strings
Whole
Store
Feel
Stores
Xmas
Feels
Inside
Vintage
Make
Family
String
Like
House
Clothings

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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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