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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Head
Buckets
Dies
Alarm
Kids
Castle
Live
Alarms
Castles
Dunks
Awesome
Pedophile
Invisible
Bucket
Gonna
Suspected
More quotes by Dana Gould
I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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