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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Cotton
Cloud
Candy
Clouds
Eating
Like
Diabetes

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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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