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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Diabetes
Cotton
Cloud
Candy
Clouds
Eating
More quotes by Dana Gould
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
Dana Gould
If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Dana Gould
I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
Dana Gould
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould
New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
Dana Gould
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Dana Gould
Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana Gould
I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
Dana Gould
I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
Dana Gould
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Dana Gould
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dana Gould
Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
Dana Gould
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
Dana Gould
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould