Quote

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Time
Bigs
Stills
Together
Still
Come
Important
Long
Overnight
Things
Working

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
Dana Gould
Image
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
Dana Gould
Image
Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
Image
Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
Dana Gould
Image
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould
Image
What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
Dana Gould
Image
Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
Image
Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
Dana Gould
Image
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould
Image
Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
Dana Gould
Image
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould
Image
Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
Dana Gould
Image
The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
Dana Gould
Image
The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
Dana Gould
Image
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
Dana Gould
Image
If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
Dana Gould
Image
I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
Dana Gould
Image
How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
Dana Gould
Image
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
Image
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
Dana Gould