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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Never
Either
Seen
Names
Tango
Lasts
Candy
Last
Whoever
Times
Paris
Thought
Bars
Many
Name

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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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