Quote

Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Names
Tango
Lasts
Candy
Last
Whoever
Times
Paris
Thought
Bars
Many
Name
Never
Either
Seen

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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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