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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
People
Bump
Bumps
Mates
Along
Nice
Looking
Soul
Genital
Way
Pals

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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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