Quote

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Bumps
Mates
Along
Nice
Looking
Soul
Genital
Way
Pals
People
Bump

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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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