Quote

How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Wear
Half
Come
Always
People
Shirts

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
Dana Gould
Image
Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
Image
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
Image
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
Image
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana Gould
Image
You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
Image
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Dana Gould
Image
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
Image
A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana Gould
Image
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould
Image
Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
Dana Gould
Image
Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Dana Gould
Image
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Image
It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
Dana Gould
Image
Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
Dana Gould
Image
Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
Dana Gould
Image
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
Image
Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Dana Gould
Image
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
Image
If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
Dana Gould