Quote

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Noise
Perfect
Chihuahuas
Persons
Shits
Person
Chihuahua
Every
Screams
Time
Pet
Life
Scream
Pants

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Competition is the death of art.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
Dana Gould
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould