Quote

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Time
Pet
Life
Scream
Pants
Noise
Perfect
Chihuahuas
Persons
Shits
Person
Chihuahua
Every
Screams

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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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