Quote

The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Good
Bomb
Slightly
Bombs
Larger
Pressure
Stop
Guy
Cooker
Thing
Cookers

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
Dana Gould
Image
One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
Dana Gould
Image
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
Dana Gould
Image
How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
Image
When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Dana Gould
Image
Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
Image
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
Image
Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
Dana Gould
Image
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
Image
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
Image
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Dana Gould
Image
One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
Dana Gould
Image
Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
Dana Gould
Image
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
Image
My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould
Image
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
Image
I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
Dana Gould
Image
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould
Image
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
Image
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould