Quote

My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Team
Mixed
Another
Suit
Ship
Ships
Suits
Stuck
Chick
Fantasy
Pirate
Football
Chicks

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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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