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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Sapiens
Homo
Mammals
Intentionally
Beard
Bees
Competition
Hold
Competitions

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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould