Quote

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Beard
Bees
Competition
Hold
Competitions
Sapiens
Homo
Mammals
Intentionally

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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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