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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Hold
Competitions
Sapiens
Homo
Mammals
Intentionally
Beard
Bees
Competition

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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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