Quote

I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Argument
Memories
Morning
Perfect
Sense
Makes
Think
Thinking
Memory

More quotes by Dana Gould

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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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