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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Dies
Another
Live
Everything
Going
Peanut
Peanuts
Butter
Excuse
More quotes by Dana Gould
Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Dana Gould
Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
Dana Gould
I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
Dana Gould
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Dana Gould
Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
Dana Gould
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
Dana Gould
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
Dana Gould
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
Dana Gould
One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
Dana Gould
I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
Dana Gould
There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould
If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
Dana Gould
Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould
Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
Dana Gould
To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
Dana Gould
I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
Dana Gould