Quote

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Peanuts
Butter
Excuse
Dies
Another
Live
Everything
Going
Peanut

More quotes by Dana Gould

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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould