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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Dies
Another
Live
Everything
Going
Peanut
Peanuts
Butter
Excuse

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
Dana Gould
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
Dana Gould
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould