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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Life
Turn
Full
Turns
Faith
Dude
Live
Wolf
Hard
Degree
Trying
Degrees
Believe
Moon

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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