Quote

As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Turns
Faith
Dude
Live
Wolf
Hard
Degree
Trying
Degrees
Believe
Moon
Life
Turn
Full

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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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