Quote

Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Difference
Hair
Differences
Better
Pout
Approached
Scream
Literally
Cry

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana Gould
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
Dana Gould
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
Dana Gould
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
Dana Gould
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
Dana Gould
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
Dana Gould
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
Dana Gould
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
Dana Gould