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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Story
Lasts
Last
Shitty
War
Wars
Tell
Star
Next
Movies
Three
Maybe
Stories
Stars

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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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