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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Lasts
Last
Shitty
War
Wars
Tell
Star
Next
Movies
Three
Maybe
Stories
Stars
Story

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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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