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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Stories
Stars
Story
Lasts
Last
Shitty
War
Wars
Tell
Star
Next
Movies
Three
Maybe

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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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Competition is the death of art.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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