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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Three
Maybe
Stories
Stars
Story
Lasts
Last
Shitty
War
Wars
Tell
Star
Next
Movies

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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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