Quote

The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Shaped
Dreams
Skull
Full
Elephant
Head
Claimed
Actually
Skulls
Bigs
Turkeys
Dream
Turkey
Men
Elephants

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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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