Quote

The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Actually
Skulls
Bigs
Turkeys
Dream
Turkey
Men
Elephants
Like
Shaped
Dreams
Skull
Full
Elephant
Head
Claimed

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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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Competition is the death of art.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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