Quote

Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Search
Bring
Looking
Perfect
Next
Pumpkins
Women
Pumpkin
Home
Knife
Thing
Knives

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
Dana Gould
Image
I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
Dana Gould
Image
Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
Dana Gould
Image
The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould
Image
I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould
Image
Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
Dana Gould
Image
My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
Dana Gould
Image
You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
Image
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
Image
Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
Dana Gould
Image
Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
Dana Gould
Image
Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
Dana Gould
Image
Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
Dana Gould
Image
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
Image
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Dana Gould
Image
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
Dana Gould
Image
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
Dana Gould
Image
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould