Quote

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Dogs
Dog
Speech
Especially
Middle
Another
Love
Yawn

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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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