Quote

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Another
Love
Yawn
Dogs
Dog
Speech
Especially
Middle

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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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