Quote

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Yawn
Dogs
Dog
Speech
Especially
Middle
Another
Love

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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould