Quote

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Another
Love
Yawn
Dogs
Dog
Speech
Especially
Middle

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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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