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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Reason
Thing
Really
Remembering
Suddenly
Worse
Angry
Remember

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould