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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Remember
Reason
Thing
Really
Remembering
Suddenly
Worse
Angry

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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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