Quote

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Stop
Guy
Wish
Farmer
Comes
Farmers
Makes
Market
Without
Sun
Way
Singing
Would
Coming

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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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