Quote

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Comes
Farmers
Makes
Market
Without
Sun
Way
Singing
Would
Coming
Stop
Guy
Wish
Farmer

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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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