Quote

New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!

Dana Gould

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TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Function
Sex
Getting
Family
Part
Fillet
Hard
Synonyms
Going
Synonym
Anti

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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Competition is the death of art.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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