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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Losers
Loser
Content
Happy
Peace
Live
Competitively

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
Dana Gould
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
Dana Gould
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
Dana Gould
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
Dana Gould
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould