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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Losers
Loser
Content
Happy
Peace
Live
Competitively

More quotes by Dana Gould

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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
Dana Gould
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
Dana Gould
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
Dana Gould
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
Dana Gould
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Dana Gould
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
Dana Gould
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
Dana Gould
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
Dana Gould
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould