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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Thought
Going
Good
Garbage
Throw
Wear

More quotes by Dana Gould

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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould