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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Great
Atheist
Way
Mess
Would
Came
Religion
Jesus
Devout
Christian
Atheists
Back
Fake
Right
Christians
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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