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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Great
Atheist
Way
Mess
Would
Came
Religion
Jesus
Devout
Christian
Atheists
Back
Fake
Right
Christians

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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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