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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Putting
Dog
Saying
Anyone
Age
Diaper
Lying
Diapers
Never
Love
Dogs
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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