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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Love
Dogs
Putting
Dog
Saying
Anyone
Age
Lying
Diaper
Never
Diapers

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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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