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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Bears
Getting
Might
Elevator
Elevators
Terrified
Rational
Stuck
Bear

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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