Quote

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Bears
Getting
Might
Elevator
Elevators
Terrified
Rational
Stuck
Bear

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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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