Quote

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Bigs
Cages
Fear
Rats
Human
Studies
Humans
Cat
Scary
Seated
Beings
Labs
Deep
Cage
Study
Indication

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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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