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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Scary
Seated
Beings
Labs
Deep
Cage
Study
Indication
Bigs
Cages
Fear
Rats
Human
Studies
Humans
Cat
More quotes by Dana Gould
A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
Dana Gould
My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
Dana Gould
