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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Scary
Seated
Beings
Labs
Deep
Cage
Study
Indication
Bigs
Cages
Fear
Rats
Human
Studies
Humans
Cat
More quotes by Dana Gould
To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
Dana Gould
The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
Dana Gould